THIS WORLD...the fake world!!

this world is a place of bastards and bitches

someone here backstabs and someone ditches!!

the air is full of a lustful breeze

this place is where all goodness freeze

where the saviour spreads blood all around

and the pharos lick it off the ground

its a place where the gods come down for the kill

and the secrets of jesus are on the spill

its only from here the vices start

where the prophets lay bare their sinful hearts...

its all done at a place like this

where on the ground, the goodmen hiss

all here are scared of the light

all hide away from the truth's sight

where men have a dead, decaying blood

and women tend to become a sultry slut

this place is under the authority of the devil

full of lies, crap and honoured evil

the satan rules here and make the norms

about typhonic fun and errupting storms

its fire spread instead of green, some blind

rhis place is the result of people like you and me, having a sick mind!!

THE FRESH BREATH.....

i had friends of mine,

i had some goodies in my cart

i had loved recently

i had given to him my heart

i had laughed with joy

i had danced to the music of life

but somehow these things started seeming of a distant past

it felt that i was engulfed in strife...

i lost myself on the last turn

the round-about which took me away

i was transfixed there in dillemma

i could no more foresee my way...

still in those dark pathways,

my friends stayed, so did my love

a little ray of happiness and hope

was shown to me by an angel sent from above...

the path ahead blurred no more!

the fading tail-lights again in view..

yes, i am breathing fresh again...

from the new window in my house of blues!!!

this is like a tribute to all the kids,,,through one angel who helped me outta my rot....

THE LITTLE ANGEL

this little kid

sat by my side

held my hand

and spoke to my pride....

"what is it?"

those simple words brought me tears

i held her close and hugged her

she soothed my bruise and my fears.

she took my burnt palm in her hands

fanned it with her tender breath

she looked at me with those big eyes

her innocense and care shamed me to death..

"what is it?", she asked again,

all i could do was force a smile

for how could have i spoken my pain?

how could have i showed i was more infantile!?!

she put a caressing hand on my cheek

she unknowingly became my listener

of my silence, of my tears

and of all the things i couldn't have told her...

"mama says that you're brave

and its just that you don't know"

i wanted to share this weakness i had

but not with her, i just couldn't show!

i told her it was all fine

i thanked her for her help
i thanked her to show the little light of hope

which had been lost deep within myself!!

i sat awake for the complete night

going over and over the conversation we had

i wondered how the innocent little maturity of that girl

no longer left me gloomy and sad

so, here i write this poem for you
when you'll grow up, you'll understand

how indebted and greatful i am to you

for on that stormy night, you held my hand!!

you pulled me out of my dungeons

you helped to clear the cobwebs away

you gave me the strength i had lost...

THANKS MY ANGEL....

thank you for showing me the way!!!

....RUNAWAY....

why this dillemma over crossed memories again? why am i feeling the pangs of pain? this ain't a rhyme, yet it comes out this way... of deciet, of loneliness, and how can i get away!?!


i don't know, my mind doesn't speak anymore. alone, away from all, bruised till my core... no friend to speak to, no one to care... i left them all back for sometime, until i come out clear...



but i miss him so much with every blink... and i miss my friends... i'm on the brink_ to cut loose and fly away into the unknown_ into the birds and the flowers and never be hurt by the stones...



i feel like an escapist!! and hell, i'm even boasting this fact... but suddenly my hopelessness seems like my destiny's pact...

i've left back the people who said that they needed me... i didn't bring with myself those people i needed to be.... i don't know why, just why did i tread alone in these murky pasts... maybe to revitalise myself and leave behind some gore masks....



i'm not liking here in Almora...even in the hills, the cold wind and this weather that i would have loved otherwise.... i'm not liking myself to be far away from each and every of my friend, away from him.... but i guess i gotta do that if i again wanna give you all my real feelings....

i guess i need my time.... and i hope i'll get it....
Love you,
and miss you all...

take care!!

...this one here is to my own reflection in the mirror...this is "MY GIFT" to myself...

i quickly tire

of hearing you scream

as i glare at you

my eyes beam!!

soon you do not know

but will be dead

and will regret

every word you said...

as i stab you,

the knife i twist

you will feel the death,

you have long missed!!

deep down you know

that you deserved it

and i am the one

who had reserved it...

this gift i give you

hand you with pleasure

and this memory

i will forever treasure!!!

SWEET CHILD o' MINE.....!!!! haha!!!!

why are you looking for me now?

the doors are already closed

they won't open even if you beg and pray

they won't open even if you die before my eyes...!!

i told you that, "its over"

and hell, i meant it so much

you should have thought everything before the deciet

you should have known you're not the only one....

yes, once i was a part of you

and i know that you still hold me close

but i was lost on you when you left my hand

and i did let you go from my heart and core.

don't look for chances, my sweet!!

you know me too well to pin up hopes...

please know that i'm not welcoming you anymore...

so, pack your every belonging and just FUCK OFF!!!!

(its for those people who don't understand that when i say "its over", then i mean it...)

PEACE MAY COME

everyday there's blood all around
fallen bodies decaying on the ground
can this war, these riots stop ever??
will the sounds of agony echo forever??
will everyday a mother would die?
will everyday an orphan would cry?
is there a meaning to all this?
does this view seems a bliss??

why can't we live in peace?
is it necessary to hear shrieks??
we have in the eyes of the Almighty an equal fame...
and still, like fools, we follow different names..
and worse, we even fight over them!!
we all are children of one God, we all are His gems...
but its what we fail to understand
we kill our Lord with our own hands...

can't there be a world full of Love?
joyous rivers and a calm sky above!?!
can't we make safe homes to live...
sufficient to eat and ample to give!?!

can't this vision ever come true?
of this world having a single hue...
where everyone can live happily as one...
with a small place under the sun!!

where the flowers smile
and the bees hum...
where the terror dies
and peace may come......



(this is one of those "written for the sake" poems....ironically, i got 1st prize for it!! haha!!)

...dis poem of mine that i'm posting here....well i never got the courage to read it again...uptill now...

CROSSROADS

there she is crying

as i get closer,

i realise that its me

as i look before her feet

i realise that the pieces of my life are on the floor

just scattered!!

i don't know what to do!?!

do i pick up the pieces..

or comfort her??

but the presence is here...

his face is so very haunting!!

now i'm alone

she's gone

my life, all its memories

are scattered to the wind

the darkness is closing all around me

i don't know which way to go!?!

I'm LOST!!!

all i can do is cry with fear

i can't fight him anymore

i truly am weakened by his presence

the pain is so real

all these open wounds

are slowly killing me

are these childish fears!?!

or is he really here??

my heart is pounding

coz i realise i'm a part of him

i close my eyes begging him to go

the touch of him is gone

but not what he left behind...

i can't fight these pains anymore

coz i'm still weak

look at what he's done to me...

look at what he's left behind...

a broken, impure child

but i guess coz time can't erase,

i have no choice

but go down the road

like i've been doing all alone...

i've been telling myself

that he's gone

but he's like a shadow

here with me for always...

you've made me what i am today

all these wounds i cannot hide

i just cannot try and hide them anymore

they are just too many

the numbness of my ragged soul

hurts me so deep....

but i can't let his presence take over me

yet its hard to be strong

i'm still too weak for him!!

here i am at a Crossroad...

which road would lead to my happiness

and save me befor i'm undone!?!?

i can't live this lie anymore

i just want him to leave me alone

i have to heal

i can't turn back now

but do i go left

or shall i go right??

i don't know

i'm blinded by my pain

i'm truly stuck at this crossroad....

all alone.....

(...and now it feels so damn good to let go of this all...!!)

FACES

THERE'S A FACE IN THE DARK

a face is there in my spark

a face is in my destiny

a face behind the real me

a face pushing the bad

a face mocking on me when i'm sad

a face making evil in my head

a face knocking me dead!!!

THERE'S A FACE IN THE NIGHT....

a face filled with chills and fright

a face which makes me crave

a face which reflects my grave

a face which makes me a paranoid

a face without which i'm devoid

a face which lures the hell

a face which alters every gospel!!!

THERE'S A FACE IN THE LIGHT....

a face which simmers within right

a face i name as conscious of mine

a face breathing in my dead shrine

a face which counters my Satan

a face which perfumes my rotten

a face which says, "I'm alive"

a face which balms my cuts from knives!!!

but i just HATE IT,

i never wanna see it again....

coz i identify myself with faces

which give me EVIL & PAIN

haha!!!

THEIR PAIN....

i can only imagine
what its like to sacrifice
how it feels to do without
what it takes to pay the price
to offer all i have
unto others with a need
i can only imagine....
for myself,
i live in greed!!!

i can only imagine
what its like to be alone
how it feels to be rejected
how to get by my own
to never share a secret
to feel empty deep inside
i can only imagine...
for myself,
i live in pride!!

i can only imagine
what its like to be abused
how it feels to lie awake
feeling angry, tired and bruised
to have no friend to turn to
filled with rage i cannot release
i can only imagine....
for myself,
i live appeased!!

i can only imagine
what it's like to know such pain
how it feels to wake each morning
with a past i can't explain
to live a constant nightmare
the one no-one else can parallel
but i can only imagine...
for myself,
i live in HELL!!!!

I HAVE....

i have cried, i have wept
i have woken, i have slept
i have taken birth, i have died
i have agreed and also have denied
i have happiness in my store
i have sorrows in my core
i have failed, i have won
sometimes i give all, sometimes none
i have experiences of heaven and of hell
i have to go there when the Forces tell
i have heard laughter, i hear cries
i have seen failures, i have seen tries
i have seen people's denials and their belief
i have seen people trusting before a decieve
i have seen people breaking
i have seen people broken
i have seen people using
other's love as a token
i have seen people brute enough
i have seen them standing tough
i have a beginning, i have an end
i gather less and more i spend
i have seen people rejoice in others' strife
i have seen it all.....
coz i am LIFE!!!!

......FOR MY HOT AIR BALLOON......

i think i might fly away
in my hot air balloon
and hide away from worldly worries
on dark side of moon

there's but one thing i need
before i float into the blue
i need a sky companion
i want it to be you....

we'll fly beyond the storm clouds
and we'll watch from up above
i'll cover you in rainbows
as we feel each other's love

you'll shower in the stars
at midnight in our special place
i'll dry you with a comet's tail
and kiss your beaming face

dreaming, drifting panaroma
changing everyday
every moonlight your loving smile
would be my milky way...

the moon will wane before us
sailing there in heaven's height
for nothing can challenge
your everlasting light...

venus shining on us
glowing soft at our devotion
our daily drifting dalliance
in love's celestial ocean...

i'll write you lover's poetry
and you will be my muse
Orion and Andromeda
will oversee our cruise

we'll sleep with clouds as pillows
maybe steal an angel's wings
and fly as magical lovebirds
or slide around saturn's rings

and should we tire of drifting
and stars floating by
we'll hook onto a meteor
and soar across the sky...

will you consent to be my mate
on our celestial ship?
i'm ready, heart all packed with love
to last for the trip...

take my hand and step aboard
we're heading for the sun
we're flying till we find a place
where our two souls are one!!!

OH! SO SWELL!!

OUT OF ALL D THINGS I HAD IN MY MIND

U WERE D MOST AGGRESSIVE OF THEM ALL

U JUST CAME RUSHING BACK TO MY THOUGHTS

EVEN IF I'D TRIED TO PUSH U AWAY N FAR.

U DON'T LET ME REST

AND EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES

YOU ENGULF MY EVERY DREAM

WITH ALL YOUR CHARMS....

I HADN'T BEHAVED THIS WAY

SINCE TIMES, FORGOTTEN!!

TO HAVE BEEN POSSESSED SO FREELY

THAT IT HURTS TO THINK OF SOMEONE ELSE...

MAYBE LOVE IS THAT WAY ONLY

THE ONE I HAVE FOR YOU

SINCE I'VE BEEN SO DENYING MYSELF

TO HAVE BEEN WANTING YOU...

YOUR WANT RAISES ITS HEAD

TIME & TIME AGAIN

TILL I ACCEPT FOR SURE

THAT, YES, I'M FOR YOU...

ITS INSANE, YOU KNOW,

THAT ITS BEEN ALL THESE DAMNED YEARS

SINCE I'VE FELT A LONGING

A DEEP, CURBING FEELING

AND NOW WHEN I THINK OF YOU....

GUESS I'M GOING MAD

COZ AFTER ALL YOU'RE NOT MINE...

BUT I AM YOURS

AND THAT'S ENOUGH,

ITS FINE

NOBODY HAS CAPTIVATED ME

SO MUCH SO, TO HAVE LASTED

FOR SO LONG, AND HELL!!

YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOCK ON D DOORS OF MY HEART..

STILL YOU'RE SO A PART OF ME...

MY LONGING_

MY DESIRE_

AND EVERY THOUGHT OF ME....

ITS EVIDENT FROM THE WAY

I TALK OF YOU

AND I IMAGINE YOU TALKING TO ME

LIKE I'VE IMAGINED NO-ONE ELSE!!

I NO LONGER ASK FOR YOU

NOR DO I EVEN HOPE

THAT ONE DAY YOU'LL ASK FOR ME

I THOUGHT "IT" WOULD FADE WITH TIME_

THE DIN OF ALL THESE MEMORIES...

BUT IT SEEMS TO ME NOW

THAT THE "MEMORIES", AS THEY SEEM,

WAS & IS & WOULD ALWAYS BE

MY ONLY LOVE, AFTER ALL!!!

MY TEENAGE WRIST

THIS POOR TEENAGE WRIST OF MINE,

I PITY IT SO MUCH SOMETIMES!!

FOR THE BREAKUPS THAT I'VE ENDURED

FOR THE FRUSTRATION TIME AFTER TIME

SO MANY TIMES HAVE I SLIT THIS WRIST OF MINE...!!!

PARAMOUNT ANGER OVER UNSAID FEELINGS

THE FAILED ATTEMPTS AND THE TRIES

THE COMPETITION WITH OTHERS AND AMONG FRIENDS

SO MANY TIMES I'VE BROKEN THIS WRIST OF MINE

THAT NOW A BANDAGE OVER IT IS MY SHINE!!

THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS SO LOST

THE NECESSARY THINGS NEVER FOUND

THE CHANGING COURSES OF MY HEART

THE FEELING OF BEING NOT EVEN WORTH A DIME

AND WHO'S THE POOR VICTIM!?!

THIS LITTLE WRIST OF MINE!!!

THE TALKS OF SUICIDE

AND ALL THE CURSED ATTEMPTS OF SIN

I FEEL SO SORRY AND BLUNDEROUS SOMETIMES

FOR THIS POOR TEENAGE WRIST OF MINE!!!!

FROM A FRIEND.....

pepl....here dis one is from a friend of mine.....
and i'm putting his poem up here coz its good!! actually!!

LOST IN YOU

sleepless nights when i think of you

flawless lights when i dream of you

you are all over me , you live in me

theres nothing more than love to see.....

All I know is this happens to a few

all I know is that I am lost in you....

the moments that we spent together

and the smiles that i'll cherish forever

whether or not, you turn back and see

i'll be here where i now, am lost in thee....

all i know is that I LOVE YOU,

all i know is that i am lost in you...

whenever i breath,

i feel a debt i owe to you

breathing air was never so good like it is breathing you

it feels so good,it smells you,

24X7 now i am in your blues......

all i know is that i am breathing you

all i know is that i am lost in you...

being lost never felt like found

but now it does, it feels profound

i am happy that i am lost in love

so gladly i thank god up above.....

ALL I KNOW IS THAT I OWE MY LIFE TO YOU

ALL I KNOW IS THAT I AM LOST IN YOU.....

--LOVE VASHISHTH--

even on 2nd thoughts,,,,

he's good!!

........"LOVE"........

i read these lines somewhere,to which i can entirely relate to....

"I'VE MET A MAN AND FALLEN IN LOVE WITH HIM. I ALLOWED MYSELF TO FALL IN LOVE FOR ONE SIMPLE REASON:

I'M NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING TO COME OUT OF IT.

I KNOW THAT (one day) I'LL BE FAR AWAY AND HE'LL BE JUST A MEMORY... ITS ENOUGH JUST TO LOVE HIM, BE WITH HIM IN MY THOUGHTS AND TO COLOUR THIS LOVELY CITY WITH HIS STEPS, HIS WORDS, HIS LOVE"....

i could say its true coz not generally can you say that, "yes, one day my love would just be my memory."

seen a hell lot of people cry in love, cry for love and cry after love.... and i just dont understand one thing--

if u really claim dat it was love,then how can u cry over it?? how can u weep when the person u loved goes out from ur life!?!? why cant u just be happy that even if for some hours, some days, some weeks, or maybe for some months, and definitely for all those moments u spent together.... you actually felt "love"!!

why cant u feel greatful that somebody taught u how to belong to someone!?!?

but in reality, even though you'd promise yourself that you wont expect anything, still- just one message, just one call, just those right words you wanna hear, just that committment you need... just a little of this n just a little of that.... "i have given so much, reciprocate a bit".... duh!!

love doesnt need anything. love never does expect... its the mind which expects, and i think that love is from the heart!!

expectations soon turn into possession, and before you'll know... love would turn into a cage!!

i can differentiate love from a thousand things. i can compare love to a lot other "somethings". i can write about the moments i fantacise of love...but i just CANNOT define what is love or how it happens!?!?

all i know is that its like an uncontrolled rush which would just wash you no matter whatever walls you put around yourself....

all i know is that, for me, whatever i'm feeling right now is the most profoundly beautiful feeling i've ever felt... this feeling which can make me enjoy under an opaque sky, in the cold wid, on a cold surface, and feeling the shere pleasure of the cold air in my lungs...

for me, this rush that i'm feeling, which makes me go weak in my knees just at the thought of him....is LOVE.... for me, this amazing miracle which had the power to make me intense for my emotions....this could only be love....

and yes, I'M IN LOVE!! CRAZZILY!!!!

I WANNA FEEL BEAUTIFUL......

just for a moment

just for a lifetime

i want you to see me

as if i'm the prime

just for a second,

just for a blink

dont rivet your eyes from me

let this feeling sink...

i want your gaze

to kiss every inch of my skin

maybe even if u dont adore

but allow me something akin

coz your eyes make me full

and i need you to make me feel beautiful...

just for a moment

just for a lifetime

i want you to touch me

and bind this time

just for a second

just for a blink

dont let your hands off me

and let me sink....

i want your touch

roving over my contours

mapping their rise and valley

until my libido soars

touch me untill it makes me drool

coz i need you to make me beautiful.....

just for a moment

just for a lifetime

kiss me hard on my lips

and seal my slime

just for a second

just for a blink

you can put yourself into me

yes, you can sink...

i want your lips

to peel me off my senses

take me into yourself

dont hesitate from offences...

let your tongue make my mouth full

and make me believe i'm beautiful...

let me lose my spark

let me melt in your sight

make me yours slowly or hard

let me burn in the fire you ignite

unleash my lustfull bull

touch me,

kiss me

and make me beautiful.......

REVIVAL!!!

OK.,....
I KNOW QUITE A LOT OF TIME SINCE D LAST ENTRY....
BUT HERE I AM AGAIN!!!
WID QUITE A NEW HEART,,,,N SOME PREVIOUSLY REMOTE FEELINGS!!!