Phases

frightened like a virgin

in a no-man's-land.

the lustruous masochism

with its free hand.

I drown!

yea...don't frown!!

bloodless like

a little blade of grass.

the ceasing spirit

in my captivated carcass...

I die...

yea... I fly!

stupendous sadistic virtuality

ending in a blur.

I wanna make...

Oh! this though's like fur!

I overflow!

yea... don't go!!

imaginations...

the apple of my eyes.

like a silent whisper.

like blazened skies...

I glow!

I know you know!

diminishing like

the waning phases of moon.

I've found some last words...

come a little too soon!!

I set free...

all I ever had of me!

humming incessantly

like derranged strings of some guitar.

antagonising thoughts

taking the play too far

I bleed...

don't pay any heed!!

too loud,

like echoes of the vacant mind.

arousing breeze...

something of its kind!

I burn..

still you don't turn...

the enthralling voice...

the judgement call.

like cheese to macroni...

your dissipating charms befall!!

I stand washed.

are you too sloshed?

a bud blossoms.

and I open my eyes here.

a refuge gets snatched

in an abandoned nowhere.

the road bends.

yea...I end!!

Offences

baby, I want you.

is that a crime?

the way those lips

entice me,

I feel I'd even

kill for them.

if need be!

I overshoot

the rocket of my desires.

air comes in gasps.

anyone can say

I suffer a convulsion.

your fingernails,

as short as mine...

the small upturned chin.

Gosh!

is there something I don't like?

threats of my diseased mind

engulfing all my sanity.

I'm captivated in your charms.

for mercy, I won't shout.

your allegorical discretions

are yours...

come bail me out!

I can feel you

underneath all my skin.

and I wonder

if you feel remotely akin?!

I am crazy

you're no less than mad.

if I fantacise,

you do too...

sometimes, perhaps

that's why

I'm so into you!

the mono-colored feathers

of all dreams

drift into a

melancholic sodism.

it does feel like an offence

to not want to be free

from your enchanting prison!

darling, I yearn for you.

I pine!

even after knowing

you're not mine.

the offshooting tributaries

of smothered desires

under the crescent moon

hardly let me be!

honey, if desiring you

is really a crime...

Come, baby,

arrest me!!

That's When It hurts...

you talk to me
with a saddened voice.
that there once was,
is vacuumed in some void.
you say again,
"I Love You"...
that's when it hurts!

we meet at some place.
with a certain necessary words.
we both know we're crowded.
standing in two distant worlds.
still you smile
and hold my hand.
that's when it hurts!

you're talking and talking.
I'm disinterested, still listening.
you do not want this to end.
and I'm sarcastic, teasing!
tears threaten your eyes.
tears which I wanna see.
I know it hurts!

we say our goodbyes.
you still turn back and see.
I calmly stand fagging.
distance increasing between you and me.
you'd go back and call.
I'd call back and would forget.
Still shall it hurt!?!

I'm Tired!!

I'm tired.

tired of listening

to all your words

which lose all meaning

every other day.



I'm tired

of believing

that someday you'd realize

it hurts to play the second fiddle.

maybe you won't understand

all that I intend to say.



I'm tired.

infact, I'm so dead sick,

of finding some logic

for all your deeds.

all that you do.

do you even worth it?



I'm tired.

tired of pretending

that things can be good again.

don't you realize

that the flames have blown-off

and we're left with our seperate bits?



I'm tired.

aren't you?

aren't you tired of lying?

aren't you tired

of saying all those things

you don't come close to mean?



strange it is.

how everything fizzed-out

so instantly, and oh!

there were a certain things

left unsaid, died on our lips.

moreover, we weren't too keen!



baby, the bags are packed.

the cab is waiting.

I do not intend to shove you,

so, help yourself...

here's the last kiss you desired.

now, go, I need some refreshment.

I'm, anyways, too tired!!

Probably Good!!

the neon lights flashed in my eyes.

the faces were all sillehouttes now.

I searched for a cushion and grabbed my beer.

it was then I saw you dancing...WOW!!

I lit a stick when you sat on the side

my senses were so aware of your gaze.

"Can I have a smoke?" your voice couldn't reach

or so I pretended, still increasing the haze!

you leaned and spoke into my ears.

your voice was unnerving... or so I thought!

nonchalantly I just looked at you...

your face was more chisselled than a lot!!

the conversation started.

the distance decreased!

the proximity of you and me...

was, in a sense, diseased!!

I ordered for the vodka

you said, "make that two"!

while I imagined the vodka burning you inner...

I was, in fact, being burnt by you!!

"Ride It" by the D.J.,

my hand wrapped in yours.

the shine in your eyes, neons jaded!

slow dancing, maybe desiring each other..on the floor.

the alcohols started speaking soon

you weren't aware of anything around.

so wasn't I...but I was aware of you!

I was aware of your howering eyes.

I was aware of the hidden things... so were you!!

your voice softened with every peg

I was serene... we, anyways, didn't need much words!

questions meaning two things at once.

the less we spoke, the more we heard!!

"would we see each other again?"

your question, my usual answer- "perhaps no..or I might"!

that silly smile of yours, playing upon all my words...

but, darling, on second thoughts,

you were probably good only for that night!!

Love for you...

for all that you have given to me

I can't return, but love for you

bound up the wounds I didn't see

and gave me hopes and passions new

I can't return, but love for you

whose unmoved faith did my heart move!?

and gave me hopes and passions new

and loved me until I turned to love

whose unmoved faith did my heart move!?

the mother of my heart, not just blood

who loved me till I turned to love

and became the soul I would

the mother of my heart, not just blood

bound up the wounds I didn't see

and became the soul I would

for all that you've given to me....

(this is my latest song)

You made me...ME!!

before I was myself, you made me Me.

with love and patience, discipline and tears.

then, bit by bit, stepped back to set me free,

allowing me to sail upon my sea,

though well within the headlands of your fears.

before I was myself, you made me, Me!!

with dreams enough of what I was to be

and hopes that would be sculpted by the years

then, bit by bit, stepped back to set me free

relinquishing your powers gradually

to let me shape myself among my peers

before I was myself, you made me, Me.

and being cold and wise, you gracefully

as dancers, when the last sweat condenses,

bit by bit stepped back to set me free,

for love inspires learning naturally

the mind ascends to what the heart reveres

and, so it was, through love you made me, Me..

by slowly stepping back to set me free!!

THANKS MA!!

The INABILITY

I smile at him.

there comes a shine

in his distant eyes,

but he cannot curve

his lips pasted on his paralysed body.

yet, the tears rooted in this inability,

flow from his unblinking eyes.

he tries to move his limbs,

like once he used to,

but all that shows

is his God-gifted Inability.

his eyes grow num again.

from shame? from embarassment?

from sorrow? or from an unfelt pain?

he tries to speak.

he can't even mumble.

he can't even write.

he can't even fumble.

the man who he once was,

now, is the cause of his shame.

the pride that he'd once acquired,

is now in rubbles..he's lame.

not for us, but for himself.

the Inability takes over achievements.

its not his fault.

its nobody's fault.

its just a wicked game

which everybody's God plays.

he's paralysed.

his life pains him beyond words.

all those beautiful successes of his life

are now images he can't match.

KILL HIM, O Lord,

Kill him if You can't cure him

but don't be so cruel, as to,

prolong the life which is now

a curse to him.

It ain't no elixir

he's been lying this way for months.

even the laws are so wicked.

they stop us from

granting him the death he'd welcome.

end his Inability, Lord...

or END HIM.

children

every child is born
with a need for wonder;
he wants to turn his eyes
on something he can admire,
to be led to a mountaintop
where he can
contemplate the splendid view,
the changing light,
the snow,
the reflections on ice,
and the soaring eagle,
majestically protecting its young,
as human parents ought to do, too.

but instead,
the landscpe that stretches out
before many children,
all the way to the horizon,
is often nothing
but an open-air rubbish dump,
where automobile carcasses,
broken chairs and plastic bags
litter the ground:
a single expanse
of desolation and disorder.

even stuck in such a situation,
a child can manage
to find something to admire-
a marble, perhaps-
and for a fraction of a second,
the world contains no more shadows
and shines in his hands!!

said it...mean it

yeah...right!!
i wanna love you tonight!
yeah...right!!
i wanna hold you tight!
yeah...right!!
you know it, baby, don't you?!
am i right?
all i, now, want is you!!

say it now...
say those words again.
say it now...
call my name again.
say it now...
you know what i wanna hear.
say it...please!
say that even you want me near...

i like it...
i like when you hold me...
i like it...
i like when you touch me.
i like it...
i like when every moment seems new!
i like it...
rather i love it when you smile when i say
"I Love You"!!