Never Again...........

he's walking away from me
his back is tense,
and i know he's angry with me.
i suppose he's got a right to be angry
he's looking back at me now,
with that look in his eyes
the look that says
i've disappointed him again
i know i'm a jerk for not even trying
he's been waiting all this while
and, i can't even try.

soon i'll have to be back to my own empty life
and wait for the next time i can see him again.
it ain't so different from what we've been doing
except, i have this awful feeling
that something's going to happen.
this feeling is so overpowering
making it hard to breathe!

every second takes him
farther and farther, away from me
i wanna go after him
i wanna ask him to stay
and never leave my side.
why couldn't i just tell him what he wanted to hear?
why couldn't i tell him i could have loved him,
if only i was left with something more to give!

instead i say nothing,
i do nothing
i just stand and watch him disappear
not having the courage to call him back.

a tear runs down my cheek
somehow, i know
deep in my soul,
i'd never see him again...

it would have been good for him
if he wouldn't have been so intimate
my heart goes out
coz i know, very well,
what thoughts are crossing
his mind right now

it goes unsaid
that i have played,
but it wasn't intended
still, i blame myself
though he does not
why do i curse myself when i'm not wrong
i know i'm not wrong!
i didn't encourage his advances
then why do i feel his ache??

listen, my friend...my dear friend,
things are worse than u think
than even i think!
i give u no reasons.
i give u no excuses
i can just let u to
push me away.
i can't stop u.
i can't even ask u to stay.
i can only stand here
and see u go away....